


Falling

by ordinary_ineffability



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Exhaustion, Fainting, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nagisa is at the wrong end of that bad decision, Rei gets over-stressed and makes a bad decision, babies who shouldn't be fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 10:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3064274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ordinary_ineffability/pseuds/ordinary_ineffability
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Instead of laughing it off like he may have done before, Nagisa just frowned further. “What’s wrong, Rei-chan? You’ve been really weird all day.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>‘I’ve been panicking on how I’m going to balance everything and the fact that I’m maybe, sort of, a little bit in love with you’ ran through Rei’s mind, but he couldn’t make himself say it. Instead, he tried to laugh it off. “I’m fine, Nagisa, I’m sorry again for not paying attention.” </i>
</p>
<p>- - - </p>
<p>Written after getting inspiration from a prompt sent to Tumblr user casxiel: </p>
<p>"IMAGINE NAGISA BEING ANGRY AT REI BC REI WAS UPSET AND WOULDNT TELL HIM AND THEN REI GOT SO STRESSED OVER SCHOOL AND COLLAPSED OF STRESS AND NAGISA GOT WORRIED AND SAD AND SNFNEAOIOGIERAERHTYKYFUL"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt and characters are not mine.
> 
> Title from Adele's 'One And Only'

Rei was, in plain terms, panicking.

He knew it was far from beautiful – so far from what he usually aimed for – but telling himself that was useless.

He couldn’t find the training regime.

It had been right there, on his desk next to his laptop, just an hour ago. He was certain that he’d left it there. Rei had the plan memorised, anyway, so it wasn’t going to damage the sessions that week, but that wasn’t the point. The issue was that this was the third time he’d lost something in the past week. First his Chemistry textbook, then his English homework, and now this.

It had been two months since Makoto and Haru had left for Tokyo, five weeks since his and Nagisa’s final year in Iwatobi High School had begun, and slowly Rei felt as if he was falling apart. He’d been doing his best, working his hardest, and yet he seemed to be getting nowhere. His grades had been slowly dropping – not by anything too major, certainly, but his 90+% averages had dropped into mid-to-high 80s, and for Rei that was horrifying.

Between schoolwork, planning his future and being captain of the swimming team, he had enough on his plate – the last thing he’d needed was a change in how he felt about Nagisa. And yet, it had happened and Rei didn’t know what to do. 

The… _feelings_ he’d developed hadn’t appeared out of nowhere, but the realisation of exactly what those feelings were had. Tracing it back, he’d managed to work out that things had changed around a year ago. 

The realisation itself had, in fact, hit him straight in the face ten days ago, during one of their joint study sessions at Nagisa’s house. It had been getting late, and Rei had looked up from his work, planning to suggest a break. The sight that had met him was one of Nagisa, fast asleep leaning against his bed with his notes scattered around him. Rei had found himself smiling fondly at the sight, finding the innocent expression of his friend adorable. Before he’d known what he was doing, he was shifting Nagisa so that he was lying on the floor, a pillow under his head. Deciding that he may as well continue, Rei had pulled the blanket off of the bed and gently tucked it around his blond friend. 

Sitting back, he’d simply watched his friend sleep, completely unable to look away. And as he watched, he had started thinking about all the different ways in which his life seemed better with Nagisa around. The resulting torrent of thoughts and emotions had stunned Rei, leaving him gaping at the realisation that what he felt for the breast stroke swimmer was far more than mere friendship. 

Unable to cope with the realisation, he’d silently gathered his things and fled. When asked the next day, Rei had lied and claimed that his parents had demanded for him to come home earlier than planned. Nagisa had believed him, and life had continued as normal. Or, at least, Rei attempted to go back to normal. However, it was proving to be nearly impossible.

A beeping noise brought Rei back into the present, and with a jolt he realised that he was now running late for school, seeing as his ‘leave the house’ alarm had been going for the past minute. With a mad scramble and a not-so-beautiful combination of swear words, Rei fled downstairs and out the door, hoping and praying that he’d make the time up before he reached school grounds.

\---

“-ei-chan… Rei-chan… REI-CHAN!” 

Rei jolted, amethyst eyes meeting concerned rose ones. He blushed, embarrassed, and apologised to Nagisa for ignoring him. Instead of laughing it off like he may have done before, Nagisa just frowned further. “What’s wrong, Rei-chan? You’ve been really weird all day.”

‘I’ve been panicking on how I’m going to balance everything and the fact that I’m maybe, sort of, a little bit in love with you’ ran through Rei’s mind, but he couldn’t make himself say it. Instead, he tried to laugh it off. “I’m fine, Nagisa, I’m sorry again for not paying attention.”

“That’s not true, Rei-chan. You’re not fine, something’s wrong.” Nagisa replied, starting to look a little bit annoyed. 

Rei could feel his temper shortening as his internal panicking rose because, oh wow, Nagisa was incredibly close to his face at the moment and that wasn’t helping his focus at all.

“Forget about it, I’m just a little distracted. Now, about the Maths test tomorrow-“

“C’mon, Rei-chan, talk to me!”

“There’s no need to, _please_ can we change the subject to-“

“Rei-channn, c’mon! You helped me when I was upset – well, you tried to, and in the end it worked, but-”

To his horror, Rei heard himself yelling at the blond. “Maybe you should focus on _your studies_ instead of sticking your nose into _my business!_ ”

There was a beat of silence, where Nagisa stared at him in betrayed shock, before his normally-vibrant eyes went cold. “Maybe you’re right. Well, you can deal with whatever’s got you in such a mess on your own, _Ryugazaki_.” He replied, voice quiet and venomous.

___

Rei felt like he was going to break down at any moment. He’d been completely unable to sleep, mind too consumed by guilt to be able to even try. Because of his lack of sleep, he’d forgotten his homework for that day, along with his calculator. Normally he would have coped perfectly without it, but the combination of sleep-deprivation, stress over the missing homework and guilt over Nagisa had left him unable to work out the simplest of equations during the maths test they’d been set. That had all been this morning. But the worst part so far, without a doubt, was that Nagisa was pretending he didn’t even exist. 

Rei knew he deserved it, but it still hurt. He was desperate to apologise, but how do you apologise to someone who refuses to look at you? In the end, he’d spent his lunch alone, picking at his food before abandoning it and pulling out a notepad.

10 minutes – and 5 scrapped pages – later, and he had a finished letter of apology. In it, he said sorry for his behaviour and explained the reasons why he was upset – well, all but one. If Nagisa wouldn’t listen to him, then perhaps a written form would be more acceptable. Making it back to the classroom a few minutes before Nagisa, he placed the letter on the blond’s desk, before sitting back in his own place. 

Nagisa walked into the room just two minutes later, his usual excitable bouncing non-existent. There was yet another concern, and another stress on Rei’s shoulders – Nagisa had been quiet and withdrawn for most of the day. This behaviour, along with his treatment of Rei, meant that the rest of the class was somewhat aware of the fact that he was to blame. Usually, a few people in the class would at least smile at him, or talk to him about trivial things. Instead, today had been met with annoyed glances and silence.

As the blond sat down, he noticed the letter and picked it up. Rei felt briefly hopeful, only to have it vanish as Nagisa shoved it roughly into his bag without reading it. ‘Ah, well, I suppose he at least has it.’ The teen thought, trying to grasp at a fleeting optimistic thought. Slumping back into his seat, he did the best he could with the rest of school, and dreading the swim club that afternoon.

\---

As he’d thought, the club was awful. Nagisa paid no attention when he spoke to the club members, and half of the members – who had heard of the fight – were equally uninterested. Perhaps on an ordinary day Rei would have pulled rank as captain, and told them off for disobedience. Instead, he’d found himself trailing off, ending the talk weakly. 

An itching anxiety that he hadn’t felt for over a year was crawling back up to the surface, his myriad insecurities – usually hidden by his confident, self-assured persona – fighting to be heard. It felt as if the fears, the doubts, were tearing their way up from his chest and into his throat. 

He all but dived into the pool, desperate to try and distance himself from it all, hoping that it would drown out the thoughts and offer the peace that he normally felt in the water, the peace he’d found at Nationals. It was no use, though – with every stroke another worry struck him like a bullet in the side.

_‘I’m a useless captain. Makoto-senpai probably regrets leaving me in charge.’_

_‘Nagisa’s tired of me. Everyone’s tired of me. I don’t belong.’_

_‘I can’t interact with people, and they know it.’_

_‘They must all be thinking about how useless their captain, their supposed senpai, is.’_

_‘I don’t belong. I never belonged.’_

Reaching the final turn, and the end of the lane, Rei slammed his hand into the wall and came up for air barely containing a pained yell. It was impossible for him to be able to tell whether the water running down his face was from the pool or his eyes. Either way, his eyes were stinging as he dove under the water again. Looking around, the usually-friendly water looked dark and choppy, and Rei ended up with a flashback to over a year ago, of harsh waves and a desperate yell. Another time where he’d messed up. 

He’d thought that Haru and the others would throw him out of the club immediately, after the risk he’d taken and the damage he’d nearly caused. But Nagisa had defended him, and he’d been allowed to stay. And what had he done in return? He’d hurt the most cheerful member of the team, and now they wanted nothing more to do with him.

When he eventually rose for air, he caught sight of Gou glancing over at him worriedly. He chose to ignore it, however – she was probably just concerned about his times, anyway. 

He didn’t try to look over at Nagisa again, seeing no point in torturing himself about the situation even more. Instead he closed his eyes, focused, and swam.

\---

The next two days continued in the same manner. Nagisa remained quieter than usual, and refused to look in Rei’s direction unless he had to. He was still hurt, and angry, but a part of him – small but growing ever larger - was also worried.

Rei had completely withdrawn in the past couple of days. He had barely spoken to anyone, including the teacher, and he had huge, dark circles under his eyes. In swimming, the butterfly-swimmer’s times had dropped. Nagisa felt that the blue-haired boy deserved to be ignored, but his resolve was beginning to waver. After all, Rei was still one of his best friends – more than that, if the blond listened to his treacherous heart – and at the end of the day Nagisa missed him. Perhaps it was about time to start listening to the apologies, and fixing the bond? After all, he’d never enjoyed holding grudges. He felt torn, and finally settled upon trying after swim club that afternoon.

He wouldn’t get the chance.

-

Rei slumped against the desk, battling to stay awake. Only five minutes, he thought to himself, five minutes until lunch, where maybe he could try to find a quiet spot and take a nap. He had no idea what was being covered in the lesson he was in, and had already been lightly scolded by their sensei for being unable to answer a question. Finally, the time for lunch arrived, and people started to move. Waiting for the crowd of students to disperse before moving, he watched as Nagisa once again fled the room without sparing him a glance. A few days ago, he might have attempted to follow him, but now all he could manage was a resigned sigh before levering himself up.

The room span for a few moments, and Rei tightened the grip on his desk. He’d been having more and more dizzy spells over the past day and they were lasting longer each time. Absently, he considered going to the school nurse, before dismissing the idea. It wasn’t that bad, he was just being pathetic about it all. No point in wasting the nurse’s time when there was a possibility that other students may need her more.

Eventually, he felt safe to move and let go of the desk. Keeping his gaze down, Rei made it out of the classroom and began to head towards the stairs to the roof area where he usually ate lunch. Before he could make it halfway up the stairs, though, another dizzy spell hit – worse than the ones before. He made a grab for the railings, but his fingers fell just short. Suddenly, he was falling. Time seemed to slow down, and the noise around him seemed to be coming from a distance. Rei only had time to think that this would cause a minor issue for the swim club that afternoon before he hit the floor and the world around him faded to black.

-

Nagisa had been chatting quietly to one of his concerned classmates when he heard the screams. Stunned, the pair had turned around to see a crowd gathering by the stairs to the rooftop. Someone was yelling for people to fetch the nurse and a sensei, and a few other third years were trying to clear a space around whatever was happening. Concerned for the safety of his fellow students, Nagisa began to walk over. A student must have tripped or collapsed, most likely the latter given the sheer amount of concern. 

All of the thoughts spiralling around the blond’s head screeched to a halt as he came close enough to spot a very familiar mop of blue hair. One that he’d absently considered running his hands through on lazy afternoons spent playing games or studying together. That was Rei’s hair.

_Rei._

Nagisa hadn’t realised that he’d been screaming until the classmate he’d been speaking to had started shaking him, desperately telling him to calm down. As soon as he came back to reality he had thrown himself forward, pushing through to reach Rei’s side. He wasn’t moving.  
Was he breathing?

“Move! Move, he’s my friend, let me through!” he cried out, panicked hands clutching onto Rei’s uniform. “Rei-chan! Rei-chan, can you hear me? Rei-chan, wake up, you need to wake up Rei-chan! _Rei-chan? Rei_?!”

The nurse arrived at that point, quickly checking Rei’s head and spine before resting two fingers against the captain’s neck. “He must have collapsed. No head wound or damage that I can see. What’s the student’s name?” she asked.

“He’s Rei-ch- Rei, Ryugazaki Rei.” Nagisa told her, trying desperately not to cry. The nurse nodded before turning to say something to the sensei that approached. The rest of the conversation was a blur to Nagisa, who reached out and gently took Rei’s hand between his own. 

Without being aware of how, exactly, he’d ended up there, Nagisa blinked and found himself sat next to the cot bed Rei was lying on in the nurse’s office. His hand was entwined with one of Rei’s, the other resting near the other’s shoulder. Shakily, Nagisa stretched forward and brushed Rei’s fringe back, away from his face. A throat clearing behind him made the blond startle, and his head shot around to see the nurse.

“Your friend appears to have passed out due to exhaustion. He should be fine, but he’ll need to spend the rest of the school day here, and it would be advisable for him to remain resting here during after-school activities. He’s the captain of the swim team, I believe?”

Nagisa nodded, adding, “We’ll have to cancel practise for the day, then. Has Amakata-sensei been –“

“Told? Yes, I called her about it earlier. She sends her regards, and has apparently spoken with your sensei. You are free to return to classes if you wish, but you have been allowed to be excused from them if you would prefer to wait here inst-“

“I’ll stay! I mean, yes, please, I’d prefer to stay here. I…” he sighed, looking back at his resting friend, “I need to watch over him. I should have been watching over him before.” The nurse nodded in understanding, placing a gentle hand on Nagisa’s shoulder before leaving the two students.

Left to his own thoughts, Nagisa took a shaky breath. He’d known that Rei hadn’t been sleeping too well, that much was obvious, but he hadn’t thought it was that bad. A memory tugged at him briefly, and suddenly the blond was digging through his school bag. Rei had left a note on his desk, and he hadn’t read it yet. Finding it, he untangled his hand from the other boy’s and opened it.

_**‘Nagisa-kun,** _

_**I wish to formally apologise about what happened yesterday. My words were cruel and thrown without caution nor care. It was not you that I was angry with, and all logic dictates that it should not have been you that I unleashed that anger on, but I did and I’ve never regretted an action more.  
I have no right to demand your attention or to hope for your forgiveness, but I shall offer an explanation as to the causes of my upset nonetheless. You deserve to at least have all the facts in front of you to decide as you will.’** _

As Nagisa read the note, his heart plummeted further and further. He’d been completely unaware of how stressed Rei had truly been, even though he out of all of the group should have been able to read the signs. After all, he’d gone through the same thing not that long ago. 

Before his thoughts could become any more destructive, there was a shuffling noise from the bed. Rei was waking up, slowly. 

“Rei?” Nagisa questioned gently, itching to reach out and touch but unsure if it would be welcome. 

Rei made a sleepy, confused noise, before rubbing at his face and opening one eye cautiously. “Where… Where am I?” he mumbled, words blurring together slightly in his tiredness. He then caught sight of the blond, and both eyes opened wide. “Nagisa!” he gasped, trying to sit up before falling back down again with a groan. “Ugh, my head...”

Feeling his eyes burn, Nagisa bit his lip in an attempt to fight off tears. It was a useless effort, though, as he soon felt his cheeks growing damp. He sniffled, and Rei looked up again. His expression went from confusion to horror and guilt. “Nagisa, I-I’m sorry, I really am. Please don’t cry, please, you’re not meant to cry…” the amethyst-eyed boy pleaded, sounding close to tears himself.

“I’m sorry, Rei-chan, I can’t… I was so scared. You weren’t moving, a-and you fell and I didn’t know you were so s-stressed and I should have _asked_ , I-I-I-“ he babbled, tears streaming down his face as all the worry and fear he’d been holding back exploded. Before he could continue, however, Rei threw himself upright, nearly falling off of the bed in his desperation to reach the blond.

“No, no you didn’t need to, this isn’t your fault at all! Oh, no, I’m so sorry, it’s not your fault, I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty Nagisa, _please_ don’t blame yourself, it’s my own fault-“ he cut in, seemingly debating something for a pause before reaching across and taking Nagisa’s hand. 

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Nagisa scrambled onto the bed and wrapped his shaking arms around the other boy, burying his face against the butterfly swimmer’s shoulder. “I was so scared…” he repeated, nuzzling further into Rei’s shoulder.

“… I never meant to scare you, Nagisa. I just…” he felt Rei sigh, before a tentative arm curled around his waist. “I should have been honest with you. I…”

Rei trailed off, and Nagisa moved back enough to be able to see the other’s face. “I guess we both messed up, huh?” he asked with a weak smile, trying to lighten the mood. Rei let out an equally weak chuckle, sounding somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “And, Rei? I forgive you for yelling. Do you forgive me for the way I acted?” he asked.

At that, Rei finally started to cry. “You’ve done nothing that needs forgiveness, but if you won’t accept that then you are definitely forgiven.” He choked out in response. 

Relief flowing through him, the blond once again curled up against his friend. Over the following hour they spoke quietly between themselves, apologising and comforting the other in equal measure. 

Eventually, the pair had to leave in order to go home. Nagisa stood, before helping Rei to his feet and hovering nearby, visibly anxious. Despite everything, Rei found himself chuckling. “I’ll be fine, Nagisa, you don’t need to look so concerned.”

“But Rei-chan – Rei, I’m going to worry. Would it… Can I hold onto your arm? I-I’m scared that you’ll get dizzy again.” Nagisa replied, looking so concerned that the other boy’s heart practically melted despite his worry about being too close to the blond. Nodding and offering an arm, he exhaled sharply as Nagisa wrapped it over his shoulders.

They made their way to station like that, conversation quiet but constant. Still, despite the relief of having the shorter boy speaking to him again, Rei felt guilty. He hadn’t been completely honest in his note (which Nagisa had told him he’d read soon after they’d both calmed down), and he felt conflicted about it. On the one hand, he wanted to be truthful with Nagisa, and a part of him wondered whether the other swimmer felt the way he did. 

And yet, another part of his brain was terrified at the concept of revealing his feelings. If Nagisa didn’t feel the same, it could ruin their friendship, leaving Rei alone again. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing the blond. Additionally, Rei had a head full of statistics stating how unlikely it was that things would work out. It was well known that only a handful of couples who got together in high school stayed together over the following years. Logically, it was too large a risk for something that had all the odds against it. Rei’s mind was fighting his heart, and for one of the biggest moments in his life Rei had no idea which to follow.

The struggle must have been clear, because the next thing he knew Nagisa had pulled him to one side. “Rei, what is it?” he asked quietly, before adding a hesitant, “please, don’t hide from me again.”

The last words resonated with Rei, and the hurricane of indecision suddenly died down. He’d reached an acceptable outcome, and with an ever-strengthening resolve he turned to the blond. 

“Nagisa, there was something else. I recently became aware of a new aspect of my life that I had not previously considered. Namely, that of… romantic interest.” He paused for a second, taking in Nagisa’s response. The other boy seemed to be displaying several, often conflicting, emotions. Clinging onto the earlier sense of calm, Rei continued.

“I had previously considered myself separate from such feelings. They are often messy and chaotic, and only rarely do they appear beautiful. But I discovered that I am just as vulnerable to such things as anyone else. And I… I was afraid.” The end of the sentence had come out far shakier than he had intended and he cleared his throat before continuing. “This fear was made far worse due to the object of my affection being who they are.”

“Who is it?” Nagisa cut in, eyes wide and lip raw from biting at it. “Do I know them?”

Rei took a deep breath: this was it. If Nagisa didn’t know who it was by the end of this then it was impossible. “Well… They’re really clever, and popular too. They have the sunniest smile, and the sweetest laugh, and the most beautiful eyes…” Now to give himself away completely. “They adore swimming, and they’re the glue that holds their friendship group together. They… they were the one to bring me into that group, and they were my first best friend. They have made my life more beautiful and bright than I ever dreamed it could be… And I’m looking at them now.”

Nagisa’s expression had changed throughout Rei’s speech, morphing from worry, to confusion, to a growing look of surprise and, if Rei wasn’t wrong, joy. “Rei… Do you mean…?”

Well, he’d pretty much admitted it.

“I’m in love with you, Nagisa. I have been for a while. I love you. You deserved to know, even though I don’t expect you to return the affection-”

Before he could finish, Nagisa leapt onto him. “Of course I love you too, Rei-chan! How could I not?” he cried out, clinging to Rei’s neck whilst the taller boy’s arms wrapped around him. 

“You… Really? Nagisa, do you mean it? Truly?” 

Leaning back far enough to see Rei’s face, Nagisa giggled and placed a gentle hand against the captain’s cheek. “Yes, I mean it. I fell for you almost as soon as I met you – or, at least, I started to. Rei, I love you too.”

And with the sound of traffic and the gentle rumble of the sea in the distance, the two shared their first kiss.

It would be the first of many, many more.


End file.
